- A Spiritual Journey I
這是從我一個好朋友的文章中節錄的、他是個鋼琴家、鍾情於作曲和彈琴、他擁有過人的勇氣和實踐的力量、為了自己的夢想而努力不懈、我節錄的這一段是文章的前言、也算是他對這段音樂追尋過程的的一個摘要..
我相信在這個網站上很多的朋友、也有著和他一樣對生命的熱情、和一股多半人會稱之為傻勁的天外力量...
相信你們一定也能夠瞭解她的想法 :)
他叫做Sherry、一個美麗的女鋼琴家、這是她在27歲的生日夜晚、用心看自己生命的文字、我很幸運認識這個女孩. 衷心希望他未來的路上能夠擁有更自信的路
補充: 很多朋友反應英文太長...我盡力翻譯成中文、放在段落的下面...我盡量按照文章的意思翻譯、而不用逐字翻譯的方式作、希望可以幫助大家瞭解....(靠...英翻中比中翻英難哩)
A Spiritual Journey
In quest of a righteous soul
Sherry Shieh
(www.sherryshieh.com)
Do you remember your childhood dreams- things you would like to do when you grow up? Do you have a passion that you would like to pursue- but find yourself stuck with work stress and this worldly turmoil that never ends?
People always asked me how I started to play music、was I forced by parents or was I a child prodigy-expecting the usual dramatic biography of a musician. Actually my story is simple: I touched the piano for the first time when I was five years old. Immediately then I thought to myself、“I want to become a pianist. I want to play music. I want to be a great musician when I grow up.” Perhaps at the time it was only a silly child’s dream、but amazingly (and unconsciously) I have stuck to my own words till this day.
I wonder since when we all stop dreaming and start acting sensibly. I wonder why we make excuses to face desires buried deep in our hearts、why we cannot do anything unless we are provided with back-up plans; I wonder why we now place practicalities and reservations before pure love and bold impulses for things we do. Has adulthood made us too careful、has the work stress destroyed our spontaneity、our creativity for life? We walk up the ladder and try our best to get greatest jobs possible and make as much money-for they are the golden tickets of a good life、for they label who we are and classify us in society. But I wonder- is that what life is all about?
你還記得你小時候夢想長大後要做的事嗎? 有沒有對什麼東西曾經充滿追求的熱情、可是卻發現自己整個陷在永無止境的混亂世界和工作壓力裡頭?
他們常問我:你怎麼開始走音樂這條路的? 是家裡逼的? 還是像其他傳奇音樂歷史人物一樣、從小就被發現是個天才? ...說穿了沒什麼、其實就是在我五歲的時候、當第一次碰到鋼琴、我馬上對自己說: "將來我要成為一個鋼琴師、我要彈琴、要變成一個偉大的音樂家". 現在聽起來、很像是個傻小孩的呆呆夢想、但是令人驚訝的(其實是令我自己驚訝)、竟然我也就不自覺、守著當時的夢直到現在....
有時候我在想...什麼時候開始、大家逐漸停止去夢想,或停止去實踐夢想; 什麼時候開始、我們不斷編織藉口、來解釋為何我們不去面對心底深處真正的慾望; 而又為什麼我們非得有安全的退路才願意冒險、為什麼一定要把保守地把現實放在最前頭、把心裡面對夢想的熱愛和最原始的衝動放在箱底?
難道成長勢必讓我們變得保守和謹慎、或者工作壓力非得磨滅我們與生俱來的創作力量? 所有人都在用力追逐最好的工作、更好的物質生活、來獲取這個社會對於成功價值觀的肯定....但我真的懷疑...難道這就是我們注定要追求的?
The true reason
We all need courage for making changes、for doing something different to our ordinary lifestyle. Even though I had decided my destiny at the age of five、I had doubts about pursuing music as a profession and forsaken it several times in my life. When I first came back to Taiwan in 2003、I worked on non-music jobs because I was fed-up with the academic ways of music learning. All these degrees、endless dogmatic studies were slowly killing my spirits for music. Sometimes we get so involved with achieving success that we forget the true reason why we do these things. Some people study in conservatories all their lives and practice eight hours a day but have no idea. I was playing Beethoven sonatas but they did not speak to me- I could not associate these notes to neither the composer’s life nor mine. Being note-perfect and playing the piano in so-called “musical” ways did not mean I was creating beautiful music. In fact、it was precisely because I could not convince myself that I felt I was cheating music、and my playing was shit.
I am glad after all these years to still be doing music and finding undying pleasure- as I have witnessed so many talented musicians fallen out for practical reasons. Yes、music is my passion- as you all know. Music is a difficult path to walk on、but no more than any other profession. And we all struggle along our paths. But do we struggle for the right cause? Do we walk to the end of the road and die with no regrets? If at the end of my days I can feel “It was all worth it、regardless of the result” - then I think I have not lived my life in vain.
讓改變在每天的生活中發生、是很需要勇氣的.
對我來說、我曾不只一次懷疑甚至放棄追求音樂的夢想、即使我清楚的知道這是自五歲以來不變的夢.
2003年、那是我第一次回台灣、來自音樂學院的我當時正做著和真正音樂無關的工作、我所擁有的學歷和學院的音樂成績正漸漸地侵蝕我的音樂靈魂...(有時候當對成功太過分的追求、我們常常會忘記所有事情真正的原因...)
很多人一輩子在音樂學院裡頭持續每天八小時的練習、卻搞不清楚自己在幹麻... 而我努力練習貝多芬奏鳴曲的結果..卻是發現這些音符和貝多芬或我自己的生命一點關係都沒有、再怎麼完美的演奏也無法代表一個動人的音樂的創造過程,...這就是我無法說服自己的、我其實是在欺騙我和我所彈奏的音樂---我彈奏的其實是些無所謂的音符...(覺得翻譯成屎不太好聽、破壞翻譯美感...)
當我目睹無數的天才音樂家們因為現實的考量而放棄音樂這條路、我很慶幸這些年一路走來對音樂的堅持以及始終不滅的樂在其中. 音樂真的就是我熱情所繫. 如同任何需要堅持的人生路、音樂這條路並不好走. 所有人都在不同的路上掙扎追求、但重要的是: 這些掙扎和追求是不是我們所真正選擇的、我們是否真的無悔於這個選擇? 我相信、當生命終結的時候、如果我能夠對自己說 "無論現在結果如何、這一切都值得"--那麼、生命就不枉這遭了.
You can never fool yourself
Why are we different、why are we unique? What makes a great person、an inspiring figure to others? I would say life and practical experiences. This is especially true in music、art、and writing. Masterpieces are products of a creator's soul responding to important events of his lives. Only by living and assimilating his experiences、by having a righteous soul and pure artistic integrity、can one produce something true to affect the others .As a composer I need to make sure of this righteousness all the more. I am responsible to live and feel every moment of my life、not only because I want to- but because “I” will be reflected in my works. Sometimes when I do not find my ‘righteous’ heart (I become lazy、irresponsible)、I remind myself to be careful. I know if I just sit and watch instead of doing something about it、instead of dissecting myself and digging from the core、then all my works will be affected (or worse- contaminated). For I know one thing is true: your works never lie about you. Whatever you do in life- you can fool the others、but never yourself.
是什麼讓我們與眾不同? 是什麼成就一個不朽的創作人? 是啟發他人嗎?
對我來說、生命和真實生活的點滴累積才是不朽作品的根源、尤其對音樂,藝術,寫作而言更是如此. 偉大的作品永遠來自於創作人對生活的重要體驗、也只有當創作人將對生活的真實理解和感受、透過誠實的靈魂和藝術心靈反映在作品上的時候、才能創造出感動人心的偉大作品.
身為作曲人、我更重視生活的真實、我有責任用心度過每一秒的生命、不僅因為我本身就熱愛這樣的過程、更重要的是、我深切的明白、"我"將會出現在每個作品每個音符當中...而當我發現自己失去這些真實、開始變得有些懶惰的時候、我一定會提醒自己..如果我沒有去深切的自我追尋、自我瞭解、那麼我作出的東西將是一堆被病毒感染、甚至被污染的荒謬作品...因為我之道、作品不會說謊、就像大家說的、不管你這輩子做了什麼、你也許可以欺騙全世界、但是你騙不了自己...