- 【安裝愛】--「把愛傳出去」高科技版
後記：2004/09/12原發表在PCHOME個人新聞台的一篇文章，後來陸續在各處看到被網友們轉貼，看來那個下午的時間花得很值得。 ^^
收到一封朋友轉寄的mail，把愛比喻做一種軟體，由課服工程師一步步教顧客安裝在「心」裡，蠻有趣的。當然，要教會一個人去「愛」絕對不是這麼簡單的事，不過，我猜，對於一些從來不認真研究「愛」的聰明工程師們而言，這樣的文字或許會讓他們考慮試著安裝這套軟體來好好研究一番。因此我決定犧牲小我無酬翻譯這篇有趣的文章，讓它更廣為流傳～ :)
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安裝 「愛」
---- 「把愛傳出去」高科技版
客服工程師：您好，有什麼我可以為您服務的嗎？
顧客：嗯，我考慮以後，決定安裝「愛」。你能夠一步一步教我怎麼做嗎？
客服工程師：好，可以的。你準備好要安裝了嗎？
顧客：嗯，我不是很懂技術，但是我想我準備好了。我首先要做什麼？
客服工程師：第一步是要打開你的心。你找到心了嗎？
顧客：找到了 ，但是有幾個其他的程式正在跑。在他們跑的時候安裝「愛」沒有問題嗎？
客服工程師：哪些程式正在跑呢？
顧客：我看看，有「過去受的傷」、「低自尊」、「妒忌」和「忿恨」正在跑。
客服工程師：沒有關係，「愛」將會讓「過去受的傷」在你的目前的作業系統中逐漸消掉。它可能會繼續留在你的記憶體裡面，但是不會影響其他程式。「愛」自己有一個叫「高自尊」的組件將會覆寫過「低自尊」。不過，你必須完全關閉「妒忌」和「忿恨」。這兩個程式將會使「愛」無法順利安裝。你能夠關閉它們嗎？
顧客：我不知道如何關閉他們。你能夠告訴我嗎？
客服工程師：當然沒問題！在你的開始選單啟動「寬恕」。重複這個動作直到「妒忌」與「忿恨」完全消除為止。
顧客：嗯，好了！「愛」自動開始安裝了。這樣正常嗎？
客服工程師：是的，不過你目前只有基本的程式，你必需連接上其他的心才能升級。
顧客：啊！我已經有錯誤訊息了。 它說「程式無法在外部元件上運作」，我該怎麼辦呢？
客服工程師：不要緊。它是說「愛」程式是必須建立在內心裡來運作的，但是還沒有辦法在你的心裡運作。說得簡單一點，它意味著在你能夠愛別人之前，你得要愛你自己。
顧客：那麼，我該怎麼做？
客服工程師：拉下自我接受的選單，點選下面這幾個檔案：「自我寬恕」、「瞭解自我價值」、和「知道自我的限制」。
顧客：嗯，好了。
客服工程師：現在把他們複製到「我的心」這個目錄底下。系統會覆寫掉任何有衝突的文件，然後開始修復程式裡的錯誤。還有，你得要把「喋喋不休的自我批評」從所有的目錄底下刪掉，然後清空資源回收筒，確保它絕對不會再出現。
顧客：好。咦，我的心一直有新的檔案出現，螢幕上出現笑容、「平靜」與「踏實」在我的心上自動複製得滿滿的。這樣正常嗎？
客服工程師：有的時候是會這樣的。有的時候得等上一會兒，不過所有的東西終究都會在合適的時間出現。「愛」已經安裝好，也開始運作了。掛斷之前我還有一件事要告訴你，「愛」是 免費軟體，記得一定要把它和它的各種組件分享給每個你碰到的人，然後他們又會和其他人分享它，最後一些很棒的組件又會傳回到你這邊來。
顧客：謝謝你。
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原文：
INSTALLING LOVE
----a techie way to say spread goodness in the name of love
Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.
Can you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - program cannot run on external components ." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it
with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you
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